I Deserve My Blue Belt, But Do I Really? A Journey of Self-Discovery in BJJ
In the dimly lit gym, with sweat dripping from my brow and the hum of grappling on the mats as my soundtrack, I felt a profound sense of transformation. Over the past 16 months, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) has not only sculpted my body but has reshaped my spirit and perspective. Every roll, every technique, every drop of sweat has been a step on a path that is both grueling and exhilarating. Yet, as I clench my white belt with four stripes, the gap between where I am and where I believe I should be feels palpable.
The journey has been anything but straightforward. I’ve watched as fellow white belts, who began their BJJ journey alongside me, have received their blue belts. It’s a bitter pill to swallow when you’re acutely aware of the skills you’ve honed and the victories you’ve earned, and yet the promotion remains just out of reach. The feeling of being left behind while knowing you can outperform those around you is a constant challenge.
Then came a pivotal moment that would redefine my understanding of this journey. My professor, a figure of wisdom and guidance, pulled me aside after class. In a candid and heartfelt conversation, he posed a question that struck at the core of my ambitions: was I training and competing just for the thrill, or was I seeking deeper self-development? His words were a revelation, challenging me to reflect on my motivations and aspirations.
He revealed that, based on my skills and dedication, I had already earned my blue belt. However, he recommended that I continue competing at the white belt level for a bit longer, to fully prepare for the different challenges of blue belt competitions. This feedback stirred a whirlwind of emotions — self-doubt, confusion, and a rekindled determination. It made me question whether I was truly ready, but it also ignited a new flame within me.
Inspired by his faith in my potential, I’ve decided to embrace the challenge and sign up for two additional competitions, on top of the four I’ve already conquered with multiple medals. Preparing for these events is a grueling process that extends far beyond the competition day itself, requiring extensive mental, emotional, and spiritual preparation.
As a father to three young daughters — ages 3 years, 2 years, and 3 months — my journey in BJJ carries a profound personal significance. While I have no plans to make martial arts a professional career, I view it as a powerful tool for personal growth and as a means to inspire my family. I want my daughters and wife to see BJJ as more than just a sport but as a vital skill for self-defense and empowerment. Knowing they can protect themselves and others in difficult situations provides me with immense peace of mind.
BJJ has taught me invaluable lessons that extend far beyond the mats. The ability to stay calm under pressure, to make strategic decisions, and to persevere through adversity has profoundly impacted my work and personal life. Each challenge faced in training mirrors the struggles of everyday life, and the lessons learned have become a cornerstone of my approach to handling stress and setbacks.
As I continue this journey, I am fueled by the knowledge that every stripe, every competition, and every moment of struggle is part of a larger, deeply personal narrative. The path to the blue belt is not just a quest for a new rank but a testament to the growth, resilience, and unwavering dedication that define my BJJ journey. With each step, I look forward to embracing the challenges ahead and evolving into the practitioner — and person — I aspire to be.